Liminal Space
I have seen so many spiritual practitioners lately writing about how they are taking a step back from their offerings, how they have been cocooning and embracing deep rest. I have been the same. No doubt there are myriad astrological influences which have influenced this collective turning inward — Mars retrograde in Gemini encouraging us to review our thought patterns and the stories we tell ourselves, or Jupiter dipping back into slippery Pisces, enticing us to take a second look at our dreams and sink into the fog of uncertainty. Personally I am smack bang in the middle of my 8th house-12th house Neptune square and whilst I knew things would seem obfuscated and muddled I didn't expect them to be quite this muddled.
Many times in the last few months I have felt like I have lost my guiding star, and while my instinctive impulse is to panic and thrash around wildly, grasping for shreds of inspiration lest I be judged for the cardinal sin of laziness, I have instead made a conscious decision to accept the liminal space in which I find myself. I have had my hands in the garden, cuddled our new little ball of fluff, lived my ordinary life. At the same time I have journalled, sipped cacao, pulled cards and spoke to trusted advisors about the why behind this seemingly sudden halt in everything I spent the past few years building. And the answer has come, slowly, that I'm making space for something else to come through. Something amorphous and yet undefined that will add another layer to what I offer. I'm growing. These are growing pains.
I can't help but think of the two big cosmic shifts that will happen next year — Saturn shifting into Pisces after more than 5 years in the two signs of its rulership, Capricorn and Aquarius, and Pluto moving into Aquarius after 14 years in Capricorn. (More) change is on the horizon, and I sense that this period of dormancy is preparing me — preparing US — to step up in a new and needed way, even if we don't know exactly how it will look yet.